He'll be the death of me

Sunday afternoon.....

I was cleaning....purging Damien and Caliana's room, which was a huge undertaking. I cleared out 3 garbage bags full of toys. Cali was alternating helping me and playing with toys recently unearthed from the clutter. Emily was watching tv and folding laundry, and Damien went for a bike ride.
Typically this means he rides around the block and goes to the house of one of four friends' that live on our block. No cause for concern.

Dinnertime rolled around and he wasn't back yet, so I sent the girls to check his friends' houses, and I drove to the two playgrounds near our house. No luck, but it was still an hour until dark and knowing it was Damien, we weren't in panic mode yet. Just as we were sitting down to dinner, Damien walks in sobbing. He had gone to the apartment complex nearby to play at their playground and had a run-in with an older boy. 14 by Damien's telling. This boy apparantly yelled "come on man, one on one, one on one" and socked Damien up a bit. Damien tried to leave and the kid blocked him for awhile before letting him go.

Of course I was livid to hear this and Patrick was ready to go over there to confront said child and parents, but Damien said no. He was sad about it, but didn't want to go back. We had dinner. We also had a talk about how important it is for him to tell us where he's going, so we know where he is at all times. There was much nodding and agreeing.





Cue yesterday.....

We get home and Damien says "mom, can I go for a bike ride?"

me: "Where are you wanting to ride?"

D: "Just to the church playground"

"Ok, but just go there and back! NO where else!"

"Ok mom" *much nodding and reassuring*


45 minutes later......

Patrick: "Love, there's a cop car just pulled up with a bike in the trunk, want to go talk to him?"

Oh sure I'd love to take that one.

Officer: "Hi maa'm, were you aware that your son was riding his bike down the freeway?"

Of course! Don't all parents let their 8 year olds play on the freeway?

"Uh no! He had very specific instructions to ride to the church half a block up and nowhere else"

"He said he was trying to ride to your old house to play with his friend. Is that far?"

"Yeah, it's um, across town. Well thank you for bringing him home" *walks back inside with much parental guilt seeping out of my pores*


I guess when we tell Damien "go there and nowhere else" he takes it as a challenge to ride on the most dangerous road to the farthest place he can think of.

We've banned bike rides, forever.

Such babies

This was me five years ago. I wasn't quite 25.



I liked my hair.




This was my husband. He wasn't quite 25 either.




His hair is pretty much the same.




We would conceive our youngest that month, but at that point we only had 2 children.

They looked like this




and this (the toothless one)




My grandma was still alive. She would have turned 93 today. Happy Birthday Grandma.

a 4 year old dressed by a 4 year old

yes, that is a balance beam in my living room

Time to write

It seems like I never have time to write, but in reality, I don't have enough quiet to gather two coherant thoughts together. So I avoid it. Right now Caliana is sitting half on the couch, half on the desk, pointing out to me everything on her six flags map....now she's pretending to shoot me, complete with sound effects. However, I've decided enough is enough and time to just face the blank page and blab on it, coherant or not.
The question is after so long....what to write about. My day, my week, the past month or the summer?
I didn't try to do much today. Patrick and I have been trying since December to have another baby. I'm currently pregnant for the third time since then. Maybe....well, yes, but there are complications and things may not end well, for the third time. More concrete answers hopefully coming on Monday. So I'm wishing the weekend away. At the same time, I'm using it, to rest, to do nothing, to give my brain a rest. It's working somewhat.
Caliana had gymnastics this morning and the whole family went, which is unusual. And then in the middle of class, she threw up, which is also unusual. The girl is never sick. She's fine now. I spent most of the day on the couch nursing the cramp in my neck, which is not fine. It hurts like a bitch and I hope it's gone tomorrow. I watched DVR'd shows and the Sound of Music with Emily.
Em made lunch and Patrick BBQ'd dinner, and I did like...nothing.
Such a thrilling entry I know, I think my brain died a little today, but at least you all know that I'm not dead.

Other randoms:

- Emily has nailed her roundoff, back-handspring, back-handspring, back-tuck

- Her first meet of the season is next Sunday!!!!

- School is going well for the kids, Damien has a huge crush on a girl in his class and Emily is trying to start a sixth grade newspaper

- I've had my blood drawn every 2 days for weeks and I look like a pincushion

- I love my husband. He does so much for me and our kids. And I have to go now, because he's harrassing me to go try and shower the cramp out of my neck.

Why 6th grade drop off was worse than Kindergarten

The first day of Kindergarten. That's the one that's talked about. It's a transitional day for sure. Taking your little five year old to start at a new school, all day, 5 days a week, without you. Except for the part where you get orientation and get to meet the teacher and hang out in the classroom and immerse yourself in their kindergarten experience. And your little 5 year old is so innocent and sweet and it's just the beginning.....the beginning of years of elementary school.

(First day of Kindergarten, 2004)



That's what makes 6th grade harder. It's the end. The end of one classroom, one teacher, field trips and recess. No more walking my baby to her class and meeting her teacher. Next year is junior high and she's on her own.

Emily and Damien are at the same school this year, for the last time until she's a senior and he's a freshman......I know that will be worse than this 6th grade thing, but I'm choosing not to think about it.

(First day of 3rd and 6th grade, 2010)



I dropped them off this morning and we all went to Damien's class first. I met his teacher while he walked away to his friends without a backwards glance. This is typical so I wasn't too heartbroken.

Heartbreaker



We went to her class and met her teacher and then I don't know. I didn't want to leave. She ran into some of her friends outside the class and started chatting. And I stood just outside their circle, like an old, lame, helicopter mom, which I am so not. Really, I'm not. I wouldn't lie.
I said "ok hun, I guess I'll go now, unless you want me to stay...."
"No, you can go, if you have to go to work and stuff"
"Oh, I already told them I'd be late"
She shrugs and goes back to her friends.....which might I add, I am so so very glad that I'm not that age anymore, because I listened to them. One of Emily's friends was talking about how Emily had so and so in her class and the other class had this person and this person......when one of the other girls cuts her off and says "I wouldn't know. I don't spend my days memorizing class lists."
Ouch. Girls are vicious.
The bell rang and Emily gave me a quick hug goodbye. I asked her if she had her phone and she said "yep, don't worry, it's on vibrate"
I know she's got this, but I can't help but want her to cling to my leg like a 5 year old. It's hard to not be needed. At least she still needs me for a ride home.

Things that have changed since last Friday

-Last Friday my dryer was working, this Friday it is not

-Last Friday I was pregnant, this Friday I'm not

-Last Friday my sister lived in Florida, this Friday she's in California

-Last Friday my daughter was 3, this Friday she is 4


There are also a lot of things that are the same. Last week I spoke of adventure, and change is adventure.....but right now it's the sameness that offers me grace.

On this day

Every morning, my phone alerts me to some trivia, something that happened on this day in years past. Today it read that on this day in 2008, the Ramsey family was cleared in the death of 6 year old Jonbenet.

I have my own for today though. On this day in 2006, I had reached my due date, and this little monkey was scheduled to appear



Being one of my children however, she procrastinated and stubbornly held out an additional 6 days.
The memories of those last days of pregnancy with my youngest and contemplation of her age and life thus far are coinciding strangely with welcoming the idea of this new baby, and all that lies ahead...in pregnancy, and beyond.
It's true that life repeats itself, but it is also always bringing new experience. New life, new adventure. New joys along with the same old joys.

Life


Love



Old and new, different and the same

Joy



Adventure




A crew growing, expanding, the same old members, welcoming the rookies, and the show goes on



And the days to come will be ripe with adventure