Clarification if you please

I don't remember where I learned about sex. Some mixture of t.v., unlocked doors, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey, and pages of a magazine my sister and I found in a bush while we were walking home from school one day.
Somehow it all came together for me though, in a clear, coherent picture. Oh, wait, can't forget about the romance novels. Those are a teenage girl's penthouse you know. They set you up for unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex and relationships. On the OTHER side of the spectrum from what the boys are reading, so there ya go.

But that's not really what I'm getting at. My point is, I kind of figured my kids would come about the knowledge in much the same way, except I kind of didn't want them to, I wanted to have a little influence too, you know, like maybe "I" want to tell them, except "I" don't want to be the one to tell them.

But the damage is done. My kids already know me, they know I'm honest with them. They know they can ask me anything.

I won't get into the specifics of who asked what, because my kids deserve some modicum of privacy, but I did have to toss around phrases like "man's penis gets hard", "baby hole", "condoms work kind of like an umbrella" and other such shocking things. I'm still recovering and they're probably having nightmares.

Sometimes I don't feel mature enough to be the parent.