I'm not ready for this stuff

How do you teach a boy that he's not god's gift to girls, when all the girls are flocking around him and have crushes on him and are kissing him!!!! OMG, yes, that's what I said. The little girl that he's "in love with" kissed him on the top of the head yesterday. These are first graders! I know it's the top of the head, but then he's talking about how he should kiss her today at his Valentine party and how his friend has already kissed 3 girls and french kissed one.

I was like

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS?"

"Yeah, it's where you're kissing and you rub your tongues together"

I just stood in open mouthed shock. I did not expect this kind of info to come at such a young age.

Then he goes

"or wait, is that chinese kissing?"

Then I had to crack the hell up.

So all evening as they're filling out valentine cards and I'm cleaning the dining room, I'm lecturing.

"Kissing isn't allowed at school, even kissing on the head, and besides you shouldn't be kissing anyone until you're like 14 or 15"

Emily: "I thought it was 13?"

*oh geez*

me: "fine, 13 whatever, but not 6"

Damien: "well, she kissed me first."

me: "it's still against the rules"

Damien: "if she was my family I could kiss her all I want"

*now we're arguing hypotheticals*

Damien to Emily: "Do you think I should kiss her tomorrow?"

me: "um, is anyone listening to me right now?? NO KISSING!"

See it's like this. This is how I see my little boy




And this is how he sees himself, how do I convince him otherwise?






On the way to school this morning I said "Ok guys, what are we NOT going to do today?"

Damien: "Um, not beat people up?"

me: "ok, yes, good one, and also NO KISSING!"

Damien: "mom, stop" *raised eyebrows*

me: "I'm serious, no kissing!"

I drop them off, get my kiss, say my goodbyes

and then yell out the window

"HAVE A GOOD DAY! NO KISSING!!"

He whips around and stares at me tight lipped and bug eyed, a look he got completely from me....and man this is going to be an uphill battle.

So please pray for no "your son has been kissing little girls today" phone calls from school today. Would ya do me that favor. Thanks.