In reality, I have some really great friends and family that have been helping me get to and from work and moving the kids around to school and such and I think we'll make it through this, but I'm not loving it. That's my point.
I actually farmed out a few of my kids yesterday. Emily and Damien spent the night with friends, and Patrick is working out of town all weekend. So Cali and I had the house all to ourselves. I ended up falling asleep on the couch last night, and instead of sleeping in as is my god given Saturday morning right, I got woken up at 6 am on the dot by Cali informing me that she had defiled my bed. I think it's kind of a cocker spaniel thing with her....her daddy stays gone all night......she takes off her diaper and poops on his bed.
My next lovely surprise was discovering my phone was not working, because uh, even if you don't have a car, you still have to go pay your phone bill. Whoops, my total bad. So we got bundled up for a fun bus ride downtown and damn it the bus is supposed to be here in like 5 minutes but Cali is freaking the fuck out because she wants my coffee, the coffee that we can't even drink on the bus, and she wants it in her sippy cup, the one that leaks, and no we're not even going to talk about "why the hell is a two year old drinking coffee?"
After a heated argument, some cussing (me, not her) and a compromise, I scooped her up, ran out the door and ran up the street because shit shit shit, here comes the bus. Thankfully it saw me running like a maniac, kid in one hand, purse and diaper bag in the other, and stopped. If he hadn't, this would probably be a much more agitated post.
I know, right?
So by now, I'm totally roasting in the sweater and boots I put on because yeah, I know it's California but I was pretty sure it was still winter, and it looked like it was under 60 degrees out. And I didn't know I'd be running the hundred yard dash.
Frustrating and uncomfortable start to the trip. Check.
I am of the opinion that buses should have some kind of built in carseat straps. There's the safety issue for one. For the other.....to a kid that is used to riding around in a carseat, the bus is like a big huge playground, and look at all these empty seats, I really just need to try each and every one of them, and there are like stairs, and swooshy doors, and these cool cords that ding when you pull on them, and they can totally make the bus stop and totally piss off the driver when no one gets off.
Fun and exciting bus ride. Check.
So we get to the mall and it's still fairly early, so it's not totally teeming with teenagers yet. We ride the escalator upstairs, because some brilliant person put one right there where you walk in, just to torture us people with toddlers. Then we walked out in the mall and took the escalator downstairs, and no she won't let me help her, and no I can't hold her hand, and yes it gives me heart palpitations. I paid my phone bill and we went into the Disney store.....because, well because I wanted to reallyquicklyjustforasecond see if they had a white cinderella shirt for one of the Disney outfits I'm making Caliana, but that turned into a reallylongwehavetolookatevery.single.thing.in.the.store. kind of trip. And ok, part of that was me, I totally wanted to buy her this forty dollar princess dress, and this really pink and ruffly aurora bathing suit, and all these other little souvenir thing-eys that are going to cost 4 times as much at Disneyland, so really I'm not impulse shopping, I'm actually planning ahead.
Trash Disney store. Check.
We had a half hour left till the bus came back our way so I suggested hey, want to get some potstickers up at the food court? Hell yes she did, especially since that meant riding the escalator back upstairs. Except yeah, they were all out of potstickers, so the lady told me to come back in 10 minutes. So, it's back down the escalator and OMG, there are all the ridiculously overpriced toddler rides that like, excitingly, rock gently back and forth. Why does this thrill them so? I can not comprehend. I also can not comprehend why I whipped out a couple dollars instead of telling her I didn't have any quarters like the smart mommy with a little boy walking by. Oh yeah, because I had 10 minutes to kill, that's why.
Wasted two dollars. Check.
We head back up for our potstickers, except now Cali informs me that she "habs poops". Of course she does, and of course it's leaked out of her diaper and onto her tights and dress, because I've only been parenting for almost 10 fucking years and I always forget that parenthood is ruled by Murphy's law. I don't care if you're only going to be gone an hour, if you don't pack extra clothes, you will get poop. I cleaned her up in the bathroom that did not have a changing table, but a hard slab of counter on which to change diapers. In the bathroom that was completely, completely out of soap.
Nasty ass trip to the public bathroom with a corn filled stinky poop diaper. Check.
We got our potstickers. Cali ate them with relish, dripping sticky potsticker sauce all over her arms, her chin, and her clothes. We took one last escalator ride down to just barely catch the bus once again. As soon as we got off and started walking home, I felt a migraine coming on. I thought I may have to leap into the bushes and get sick, but of course now my baby girl is tired and wants to be carried. I made it home without losing my potstickers, set the monkey up in the bath, and lay on the carpet in the hall, where I could watch her out of splash range. This is how she amused herself
I gave up my ideas of laundry and sewing and am just trying to relax before we have church in two hours. But my phone works now, so hey, call me.
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