I cleaned my office this week. It feels wonderful.
Organization does not come naturally to me. It was not hard wired in my DNA or in my training. Or if it was, other parts of me stifled it. Don't get me wrong, I have the ability to organize, I can make files, systems, put things in their place....but realizing that I need to assign a place, sometimes takes awhile.
I don't really notice the pile of mail and school papers stacking up on the entertainment center, or that there are shoes by the door, in my closet, on my dresser, in the bathroom.....I just don't realize.
My poor husband. That's all he does is organize. Yin and Yang.
But this week, I've been in a great mood, and I cleaned my office. Filed, sorted, purged. I don't know if the organization is the result or the cause of my lifted mood, but I'll take it. Either way, I'll take it.
With the clutter gone, I can focus better. I'm happier. More motivated.
All winter, and if I want to be honest, even before winter...I've felt cluttered. Tired. Overwhelmed. And I don't just mean by stacks of paper. My mind has been overwhelmed with all the details of life. It was messy and I felt ill equipped to do the job well.
Last night I lay on the couch. The show I was watching was over, and I could feel myself drifting to sleep. I thought to myself...don't fall asleep, get up, go to bed, get your alarm, it's a work night, have to do it right, can't sleep on the couch.
And then I realized I live my entire life on a schedule. The confines and boundaries of my time organization. Work is what I've been suffering through in order to live my life in the few hours between work and bed, and on the weekends. And that's not life. My life is all of it. My job included. It's not something to just get through. It's not a separate identity. Not work me and real me. It's something that I do during the day. It's still me, living my life during those 8 hours, my choice, my way, my life.
And that was incredibly freeing. Decluttering my office helped me to declutter my mind and what I found was liberation. Structure yes, regimentation no.
I slept on the couch.
1 day ago