Friday, January 30, 2009


I think I'm getting a cold. Patrick and Cali both had one this week. And possibly one of the other kids too, I can't keep track anymore. I got a little nose runny last night and this morning was sneezing and a little congested. I don't typically take medicine when I'm sick. I have full and complete faith in the healing powers of my own immune system, but damn it. It's Friday, and I just thought maybe I should take a little something to get through the afternoon.
So while I was out at lunch I picked up some Dayquil. I have this really cool Health Savings Account that is strictly for all things medical but the checker said I had to use it at the pharmacy all the way at the back of the store. So, I just said screw it and paid cash.
Even though the box says to take 2, I only downed one of those slippery orange tablets with my cup o noodle. 20 minutes later and I couldn't feel my arms anymore, and it was spreading. I wasn't droopy eyelid tired, but had that heavy numb body feeling like being stoned, or after a really good glass, errr bottle of wine.
I haven't noticed any congestion in the past few hours, but I also haven't had the most productive afternoon. I've been too busy trippin off the Dayquil. I think I'll take the rest of the box home for the weekend.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

10 reasons I love my children

Someone asked this question over on a bulletin board I post on and I want to keep my answers, so I'm pasting it over here. It's very trivial really because it's hard to put something like love, especially the all encompassing love for your children into words or reasons. You love them because they are. Because they're a person you've watched grow and change from creation, that you've cultivated and molded and poured so much of yourself into. But aside from that, here are my answers, broken out by child because they are all very different.

em ( I call her "Em" the majority of the time):

1. she's like a clone of me, what I mean is, she's so much like I was that I relive my childhood over and over through her
2. she is so empathetic
3. she always cares about everyone else's feelings first, even people she doesn't know well
4. she gives love so freely that she makes it so easy to love her
5. she's eager to please
6. she speaks her mind
7. she's my first baby
8. she's open minded
9. wise beyond her years
10. we can talk like friends, share interests in books, movies, etc... I really see us developing a wonderfully close adult mother/daughter relationship


1. he's independent
2. he is discriminatory with his affection, but if he deems you worthy he is fiercely loyal
3. he's very logical and not easily intimidated
4. he loves animals and babies
5. he's not afraid of anything
6. he's my only son
7. his mind is so different than mine, he's fascinating to figure out
8. he rides all the scary rides with me
9. he's quick with compliments, and sincere
10. he's strong, body and mind


1. she's just like her daddy
2. she's strong willed, which means she doesn't give up easily
3. she has an amazing memory
4. she talks a lot
5. she's very enthusiastic and brings out the best in people
6. she's my baby, and has an old soul
7. she loves to snuggle
8. she has a sweet little kissable face
9. she's dramatic
10. she loves my husband fiercely and in that way, helps save him from himself. She holds him accountable.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tired of being tired

I've always been a crappy eater. My tastes have expanded over time, but mostly just to include more crappiness. When I was younger I ate whatever I wanted. My senior year of high school I ate a 3 pack of hostess cupcakes every day for snack, and I weighed 112 lbs. All that sugar equaled a whole lot of energy.
Now I'm just plain tired so much of the time. I know that I'm not 17 anymore, but I'm not that old either. My lifestyle is a little different. Working full time, taking care of 3 kids and a home is a little different than going to high school and working part time, but I also know part of it is my diet.
I've been curbing my eating in the past 6 months in an effort to lose the rest of my Caliana baby weight, and it's worked, but it's not like I'm steaming veggies at work and stocking up on high vitamin munchies.
Price and convenience are huge variables here, because I'm kinda cheap and a lot lazy. So why is that a salad costs me six bucks and a taco bell burrito is 89 cents? It's unfair I tell you. I have only coffee for breakfast and drink a whole lot of diet dr pepper (aspertame anyone?) and will pass up milk for an energy drink because a glass of milk eats up 3 of my weight watcher points, and that sugar free red bull is 0.
All that up and down and not many vitamins is leaving me crashing and burning more days than not. But I've lost the weight. I must be doing something right I guess. Ok, not really I know. Eating right is hard, and honestly I miss the cupcakes.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

waxing nostalgic

Yeah, I'm in one of those moods. If you have kids, you've had them. The one where you look at your children and go "what the fuck happened?" You used to be this little bundle of poop and drool and I was the lord of you, the complete boss and ruler of everything you thought, saw, wore, was so cool I tell you.

And then one day they're just....bleh...they're their own free thinking little people who decide for themselves who they want to be and what they want to think and yeah, that's a little cool too, but it's also a big cup of ice water in the face of the supreme ruler you used to be.

Both of my older kids are doing this to me lately, and maybe it's mostly me, but whatever, I'll say it's them.

I made up silly little songs to sing to my babies, because that's what babies do to you, they make you all silly and mushy and cootchie coo-ey sing songy. I was singing one to Cali the other day in the car and glanced over at Damien. He was the only other person in the car and he was just quietly looking out the window, and my mommy brain goes "awww, poor boy, he's probably thinking how I used to sing to him and now Cali gets all my attention" and he's so so sad and wants me to sing to him.

So I start singing.....

"Iiiiiii LOVE a little boy
and his name's Damien
Dame Dame Damien
Damien Sharp!"

He looks at me and quietly says
"mom, please don't sing that"

me: how come hunny?

d: it makes me feel little kiddish

me: *stutters* uh, well how do you want to feel?

d: dude style

me: ooooook, I'll try to keep that in mind (*cries inside and dies just a little*)

And then there's this one

This one who acts so grown up already it scares the crap out of me. It was so evident on our day trip together to her competition on Sunday. It was evident in the way she sat quietly and calmly waiting to go warm up

There was none of the 9 year old girl squealing and running around, no hyperactive chatter or begging for skittles and nachos from the snack bar. No stage fright or nervousness, just an absolute maturity that would make you swear she was turning 20 instead of 10.

She dutifully mugged for the camera when I aimed it at her

But she also rolled her eyes and sighed a little at how much attention I was giving her.
And the car ride....she just.... read quietly the entire time.

Why? Why? I just, I'm so proud that she's mature and well behaved, but part of me is just screaming for her to still be little and psychotic. She's going to pass me in maturity any day now, and I would appreciate if she would worship me just a little longer, not roll her eyes and tolerate my antics. Is that too much to ask? I thought not.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Curse of the cheerleaders

Emily joined a competetive cheer squad in May. What that means is they don't cheer at games or anything, they only cheer at competitions. Here she is in the parade way back in May

Now cheer "season" starts around October, but for some reason our coaches didn't get the uniforms ordered until around November, so the first competitions they were scheduled to be in were in January.
The first was January 11th. They had to drop out because the uniforms still weren't in. I'm not even going to tell you how much I paid for said uniform because it's embarrassing. The next was January 18th, which was completely cancelled, no explanation.

This Sunday, as in 2 days from now, they have a competition in Stockton. The uniforms are supposed to be in today, but if not, they're still competing in their practice clothes.

I don't really have a point here, except that a lot has gone wrong so far this season, so maybe keep these girls in your thoughts on Sunday, that nothing goes wrong, and that they have a blast. They've been practicing 3 hours a week, they deserve it. You know I'll be back with pictures.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Who's the sucker here?

Caliana stays home with Patrick on Wednesdays. They lounge around, playing guitar hero, watching movies, snacking and napping. Cali is enamored with her daddy and pretty much sticks to him like something sticky... and obsessive. I think she's going to be one of those clingy girlfriends. The ones who never miss your football practice, who want to hang out with you and your boys, who texts you to find out why you haven't called since lunch, and just when exactly did you plan to take her out for your 3 week anniversary? Yeah, that one.
So Patrick calls me yesterday afternoon to do the evening briefing. No gymnastics, no cheer, no basketball, no plans. That is great, because he needs a break. He just needs to go somewhere, somewhere Caliana isn't. I laugh from the safety of my office and agree to give him a reprieve that evening.
I get home, and Patrick is getting ready to go visit his dad, and I'm well rested from my day at work and ready to hang with the kids for the evening, but wait....what's this? Patrick is getting Cali's shoes on? He's asking me to fix her hair. What's going on here? He looks at me sheepishly, "I told her she could come with me"
Haha, suckerrrr! So much for Daddy's reprieve.

So, I spent my evening cleaning bathrooms instead. We have 3. For convenience sake, I love having 3. Patrick can shave, I can do my hair and Emily can shower all at the same time. But when it comes to housework, I wish I had zero.
I hate hate hate cleaning the bathrooms, it's my least favorite chore. The hair and the toothpaste and the soap scum and the pee. Blech! I live with 2 boys, one is 6 and the other....well age doesn't really matter here. It's all about aim, and it's safe to say, I wouldn't trust either one to shoot the villian holding me hostage. For this reason, I don't feel that cleaning the bathrooms should be my job. I pee directly in the toilet, no spare drops going anywhere. So I try to hold out, and hope that someone else will notice and maybe, just maybe I'll come home one day it will be clean and it wouldn't have been me. It would've been like the shoemaker and the elves, where the work is just magically done and I wouldn't question it. I would never look a gift horse in the mouth. Come to think of it, I probably wouldn't look any horse in the mouth. That's kinda gross.
Oh, and did you know that Comet spray mixed with pee smells a lot like sweaty feet? See, you learn something new every day. It's enough to send you screaming for the sanctity of the living room and immerse yourself in some guitar hero, but no. I braved the trenches, fought my way through the bath toys and dirty laundry and used an entire roll of paper towels, but I came out victorious, with 3 sparkling, beautiful, pee free bathrooms.

I still feel that daddy got the better end of the deal.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Didn't mean to ignore you all

The internet has been down at my work for the past two days so I haven't been able to post.
Remember that video of Cali that I gave up on a few days ago? Well I got it to work. So, go enjoy. By the way, she is completely making it all up....she didn't have rice Krispies, or go to the park....

Monday, January 19, 2009

Aaaaand now we're on youtube

Because I promised bombardment

Please people, no pictures, don't make me call my agent

getting ready for his game

Damn, all this talking is boring, let's get to it already

action shot

They were walking away from me and I prepped the camera, yelled "hey guys" and as soon as they turned, snapped this pic. See the identical crossed arms and expressions of "what the hell do you want woman?"

Then they were all like "oh you wanted to take a picture of us? Why didn't you say so?" and I got this

Cheesin and posin with my brother Noah

I'll pause while you drool over our beautiful California weather. Go ahead, be jealous, I don't blame you.

The boy

The girl

me and my girls before our dance

One more quick touch up

The flowers my loving husband bought me

and one more shot because I love it

Friday, January 16, 2009

Damn, I give up

In honor of Cali's half birthday yesterday (hey, 2 1/2 is a big deal!), I was going to post some cute videos that I took of her the other night, but I have been trying for 2 days to upload them here, and it just isn't working. SO, if you really want to see them, email me, and I'll send them to you.

In other w-2 is in and I'll be doing my taxes tonight. Pray for big money.

Oh, and I need opinions. Vote in the comments....does he need a haircut?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Back in business

Expect to be bombarded for awhile

(I call this picture "oh shit, mommy got a new camera")

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Vampires again

As I've previously mentioned, Emily is currently obsessed with the "Twilight" series. Right now she's flying through book #3.
On the way to school this morning she gave me a quiz to find out if I'm a vampire or a werewolf. These were the questions:

1. Would you rather marry a vampire or a werewolf?

I answered vampire, because I don't mind some body hair, but a werewolf has a bit much

2. Which color do you like better, red or orange?

This is hands down red for me. Orange is probably my least favorite color, and I am a redhead after all

3. Who do you like better, grandma or Cali?

I have no idea what this has to do with anything, I think she was just trying to trick me

And dang it, I know there was a 4th question, but I'm getting old, my memory is slipping. Apparently I'm a vampire though. News to me, but now that I think about it, I do like my steak pretty rare.......

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dress rehearsal

My dance class had our dress rehearsal on Saturday. It was a hectic morning. I had to gather all the pieces to my outfit, throw my shirt in the dryer since I don't own an iron, and still get everyone ready for the day.
My loving husband ran out to get me coffee, electrical tape (to convert my black and silver shoes into all black shoes) and an egg and sausage mcmuffin for good measure.
I was finally all set, but first things first. Damien had an 11 am basketball game. First one of the season. If you've never seen kindergarteners and 1st graders play a game of basketball, you don't know what you're missing. It is one of the funniest things on the planet. Many of the kids forget to dribble except when they're standing still, many forget to dribble period. They sometimes guard their own players, pass to players on the other team, shoot for the wrong basket, they will roll around on the court....two kids with little arms locked around that ball, not giving in until the whistle blows. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for the part where Caliana kept trying to crawl under the legs of the other people on the bleachers. Emily read the whole time.
The game didn't end till 12, and my dress rehearsal was at 1, so I snatched Damien out of the post game huddle, skipping the obligitory hand slapping to the other team, and we hauled butt out of the parking lot. 15 minutes home, 5 minutes changing and 20 minutes to the next town over....left me almost a half an hour late meeting my friend at our work. We were going to try and find the theater together, and wanted to have plenty of time, hahaha.
Luckily it wasn't hard to find and we arrived with a little time to spare. We took the elevator up to the dressing room and I stepped out into a throng of half naked 6 year old ballerinas. Whoops, sorry girls, carry on.
I made my way over to my classmates who all looked just as ridiculous as I did with our 80's colored clothes, accessories and too much makeup.
One of the girls took all of our leggings home to dye them and was supposed to give them to us at dress rehearsal. She did, and they were freezingly soaking wet. We all looked at each other, like "uh, what the hell? Are we actually supposed to put these on?"
One woman took the plunge and threw them on. And OMG, they were like half see through. Add that to the fact that the built in "shorts" on our skirts ended up being built in "underwear" and the whole "squatting on stage in front of people" thing became quite unappealing.

At that moment our dance teacher ushered us out to the stage and most of us were still holding our sopping leggings. So we quickly ducked behind a curtain to squeeze them on. Whoosh, off goes my skirt and I'm standing on a stage in my underwear (sounds like a bad dream, huh? At least no one opened the curtain.)
I wiggled into those leggings as quickly as possible and I won't lie. It sucked. Ever put on a wet bathing suit? Yeah, it was like that.
I was shivering cold for two minutes and next thing I know I'm standing in pitch blackness, and then I'm nervous, and then I'm dancing in front of people, except the cool thing is when you're on stage, there are all these lights shining down on you, so you can barely even ascertain that there is an audience, much less see the looks of horror or laughter on their faces.
Ok, I'm being overly dramatic, we got rave reviews and I loved every minute of the attention, panty flashing and all. Our teacher said the lighting guys complimented her on our dance and she says she thinks it was their favorite *wink wink*

Saturday....the real thing.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Funny Friday

There's something about the sun shining on a Friday after days of rain and gloom that makes me want to get up and dance. It's either that, or the bangles blasting from my speakers. 80's music is my Friday guilty pleasure. Whatever, I've already made it clear that I'm a dork.

Want to hear a joke? It's corny. It's also Patrick's favorite. Probably because it's corny. And because it confuses people for a quick sec. And Patrick loves to confuse people. Here it is.

"What did the robber say when he ran into the bank?"


I told you.

Patrick is a constant source of amusement for me. That doesn't sound right......don't get offended hun, I'm not laughing AT you. What I mean is, he's pretty funny. And he's known a lot of people. And people. are. hilarious.
He was telling me the other day about this girl he used to know who actually thought she was psychic because she could sing along with a country song that she'd never heard before. Bwaaaahaaaa, now THAT is comedy.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

And the pendulum has swung the other way

So yesterday I was sluggish and tired, today I'm restless and impatient. I'm starting to feel bipolar with all these mood swings. But hey, I'm a woman, I can always chalk it up to hormones.
Do you ever feel like life is passing you by? Like you're just trying to keep your footing and not fall over and everyone else is waltzing by? That's how I'm feeling this morning. And I'm not even middle aged yet. It's not time for a mid-life crisis. I just feel like there is so much more I could be doing, but I'm not exactly sure what? Which direction do I go? How do I make the MOST out of my life. It can't be sitting in this office doing paperwork. It just can't.
I also know that the answer is in me, it's up to me to find it. No one can answer these questions for me.
For the first 14 years of my life, we moved around. A lot. Lots of new places, lots of new faces, and for the second 14 years I've been living in the same city where I was born, going to school, working, school, work, raising my kids and just hanging on....and I feel, well, I feel like I'm spinning my tires and not getting anywhere.

Please forgive my mundane introspection. I'm sure my attitude will have changed again tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

It's one of those days

I want to write. I want to reach out to all of you, relay a witty story, and share the inner workings of my mind, but in all honesty... the inner workings of my mind are pretty damn boring today.
My brain is sluggish, my eyelids droopy, I'm in denial about the fact that it's only Wednesday.....not that this weekend will be particularly relaxing since it consists of

Saturday: basketball game for Damien, dress rehearsal for me, and church
Sunday: 3 hours of driving and 7 hours of cheerleading competition *come to think of it, the thought of this is probably what fried my brain, it's just trying to protect itself*

What I'd really like is a whole day with no work, no kids, no chores, just me, a bottle of wine, guitar hero, a book, and maybe some rum cake. Ok, definitely some rum cake.

Maybe then I could stop freakin yawning and may even think of something interesting to write about.

(p.s. that picture is a few months old, pre-highlights, but it illustrates my mood perfectly)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It's January, where's my W-2

Christmas is over, it's a new know what that means? Time for taxes! Hooray! My yearly bonus! For every year I've worked (read:every year of my adult life), I've gotten a nice return. That's one of the benefits of birthing and raising all of my little angels.
Every year I tell myself that I'm going to be responsible with it, I'm going to save at least half, I'm going to pay off my car (which has less than 3k left to go, woohoo!), I'm going to fix the mirror and antenna on said car (don't ask), I'm going to do all kinds of super responsible things and not blow it. But, I'm a sagittarius, I crave adventure, so like every year I'll probably just go ahead and fucking blow it. This year we're booking a trip for all of us to a certain fun place in a certain southern California. (The kids are not supposed to read my blog, but in case they don't listen, I don't want to ruin the surprise). I am way excited. Patrick and the kids have never been, and the last time I went I was 4.
I'm uber-impatient, and want to start planning and booking and all that fun, spendy spendy stuff, so I'm chomping at the bit, waiting and watching the mail every day for my w-2, so I can rush off and spend like $150 just to get my refund the next day. Because, let's face it, I have no patience, and it costs me.

Monday, January 5, 2009

vampires and superstitions

The first post of 2009, oooh, gotta make it a good one. Oh the pressure. If it sucks, then all of 2009 is going to suck. Ok, maybe not, but I like to pretend stuff like that. I'd say I'm mildly superstitious. I knock on wood and I toss a pinch of spilled salt, but I could give a hoot about umbrellas in the house and I've owned two black cats. BUT, there is one that I follow religiously. If you're ever in the car with me and we have to pass over a railroad track....sneak a glance in my direction. You'll see me kiss my hand and touch the ceiling. My mom's friend taught me this one when I was really young and I've always followed it. It goes along the lines of *the railroad tracks hurt your car's tires, and if you give it a little love, then it will keep you safe = no car accidents*
Hey, I never claimed to be completely sane. Patrick is always attempting to screw me up on this. If he sees a railroad track coming, sometimes he'll try to distract me, or he'll reach over and hold my hand. Hasn't worked yet, but he keeps trying. Does he want me to get in an accident? Gosh.


I've been home with the kids since New Years eve and although we had a good time, I am pretty glad to be back at work. For a few reasons....

#1 I like to feel productive, and doing dishes and load after load of laundry just doesn't use enough of my brain to make me feel truly productive

#2 I get stir crazy at home, which leads to...

#3 we go out a lot and out to eat a lot which means I eat too much, and too much of crappy (deliciously crappy) food

On Thursday I took the kids to Walmart to spend the giftcards their grandma sent them for Christmas. That took way way too long, longer than I even want to write about, but while we were there Emily was looking through the poster display, and there was not one, but two Twilight posters...

(*side note*- after I read the entire Twilight series, Emily asked me about them and asked if she could read them. She's halfway through the second book, saw the movie last week and is totally obsessed.)

So she wanted one of those posters in a bad way, but of course they were all gone. So on Friday we went to the OTHER Walmart to see if they had any. Nope.

So on the way, all of these excursions required fast food to sustain us.....we went to the mall. First store, bam, right there next to the door, a whole rack dedicated to Twilight posters. She got to take her pick. We hung around the mall awhile anyways, and there were a few other stores that had Twilight posters, AND t-shirts. One should always try the mall first, especially for tween obsessed merchandise. Now I know, see, you're always learning as a parent.

While we were already there shopping around, I decided to grab some accessories for my dance performance. I got a hair thing, some earrings and the cutest fingerless gloves that I hope I get to wear. Speaking of....anyone who wants to come see my performance it's at Sonoma State Persons Theater, Saturday January 17th, 4 pm. It costs $15 and I have to prebuy your ticket for you, so just let me know. You know it's worth it.