Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I've started a new entry a few times today. One appropriately titled "Oregon trail" which had clever little quips about that old computer game....remember back when only the really rich kids had computers at home? I keep getting distracted by work, and other demands and then my entry is lost and now here I am starting over yet again. Although, my time here in front of this screen is limited. I'm needed many places today and it's almost time for me to leave you.
We're leaving at 4am tomorrow and driving our tiny little car packed with 5 people and a whole lot of crap 6-7 hours to Oregon. Today, on my list of things to do:

-go to the DMV and pay my registration
-load new songs and games on Emily's Ipod
-charge Emily's ipod
-borrow my mom's GPS because some assmunch stole mine
-remember to check the mail so I can bring "Home for the Holidays" with us on our trip (my "must see every single Thanksgiving" movie being delivered by Netflix just in time)
-take Emily to cheer practice
-remember to print out mashed potato recipe for Thanksgiving
-clean out the car
-go to dance class
-laundry, yeah seriously
-pack enough clothes, diapers, games, and various other entertainment to keep us entertained for 4 days in the COLD country....cold for us anyways
-and have it all loaded in the car and ready to go at 4 am

So, I'll miss you all. I won't have access to a computer untill *gasp* Monday, so I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. I'm sure I'll be stir crazy by day 2, so Call me. Although my phone probably doesn't work way up there. Nevermind.

Monday, November 24, 2008

twenty- gasp- eight

So, today is my birthday. *applause* Thank you, thank you. I'm so glad I was born too. 28 now. 2 more years till 30. 2 more years till I've been at my job for a decade. That sounds like permanance. I better do something drastic in the next 2 years. Oh the pressure.
Today though, today is good. I actually had a little family party last night, where I cooked my famous chicken and dumplings and my mom and brother came for dinner. Patrick and Cali both slept through dinner and my 13 year old brother had an adolescent moment and stormed out of the house, but I still had fun. My mom and I, and Emily and Damien had dinner and cake, which was oh so good. So deliciously chocolatey, oreo cookie, good. Then I opened my present from my mom. Cute outfit and earrings. I'm an earring whore. Some people obsess over shoes, some over purses....I'm an earring girl. Are you all paying attention? It's not too late for birthday presents you know.
Emily was appalled by my only receiving one present, so they played a game of wrapping up stuff around the house to give to me. This is so much more fun than it sounds. I received a diet dr pepper, a homemade card, a homemade poem, a child wrapped in a blanket and a very awesome dance by my little boy.

Reasons that today is a great birthday so far:

-I fit into the size 7 jeans my mom bought me. That is only one size bigger than my pre-EMILY teenage self, and there is no discernable return of the muffin top

-The kids are off school, so it was only me getting ready this morning

-I'm off Weds-Sun, so today is actually like my Thursday already!

-I'm going out tonight to see Twilight and I am embarrassed at how excited I am

-Gas is $2.07

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

See my grin....see it?

Well well well, look who's back from crankyville. I was too upset to write yesterday. Sorry, I know you were all ready to slit your wrists from the disappointment. It's just been a crummy week. But, it's Friday now, I'm listening to 80's pop, anticipating cheesy pizza night and I'm ready to put all that misery behind me.

So, OK, I have major news! Like, oh my god, you will never believe what happened at school! The boy Emily likes, totally had his friend tell her that he likes her too. Can you even believe it? Wow! She's stoked. And Damien has been writing love poems to his crush in his journal. Aww, Love is in the air. At least for the kiddos. All my adult friends are currently fighting with their husbands. Love is great, relationships....not so easy. Ok, no, we're not going there. This is 80's music, cheesy pizza, annoyingly happy day.

OOOH, you guys want to hear something really weird. Emily is not picky when it comes to food. She loves her some good food. But she is extremely picky when it comes to sweets. This is a partial list of desserts that she just does not like:

-whipped cream
-most popcicles
-caramel (I KNOW, OMG!!!)

Seriously something is wrong with that child.

Ok, that's all the cheeriness I can bubble out today. Peace out.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hodge Podge

Ok, I'm back and I'm better. My camera is still broken, but my husband is being nicer. He apologized for our fight yesterday. I'm really really glad he's humble enough to apologize and try to make up because I'm a little more....uh...stubborn and pigheaded. Thanks baby.


I recently read an article that a friend posted about teen girls and sex. It was based on a survey done by Tyra Banks. Some of the results:

* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
* 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.
* One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.
* 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.
* One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom.
* About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone.
* One out of three teens has tried drugs.

Being a parent, this completely freaks me out!! Right now, the kids are still pretty innocent, but the next few years, the "formative years", are so important. What I do, what I say, what I discuss, what I teach, are going to "form" my children's minds and they will make decisions that have the potential to change their entire lives. Lord help me, toddlers are simple in comparison.

For now though, here's what's going on in my children's love lives

Emily has a crush on a boy in her class. She decided to tell him yesterday. Man, is she brave! I would never! At least not way back in 4th grade. I wouldn't even let my crush catch me glancing at him. This is how it went:

Em: "Hi, I need to get something over with. God this feels strange, but I like you"
*and she didn't run away giggling, she stood there, confidently, waiting for his response*

Crush: *blush* *small smile* *ran away*

She was not offended. She thinks he likes her too. I am so glad she tells me all of this. I hope she always does, although that hope is unrealistic. I am also glad this kid was not some forward thinking, fast moving punk who responded with "I like you too, want to go out?" 9 is too young for a boyfriend. I am also glad that she has the confidence to do this sort of thing. Hopefully she will keep that and not feel intimidated by boys, intimidated enough to be put into compromising positions in which she is not comfortable, and probably too young.


Damien also has a crush, and inspired by his sister's bravery, he decided to tell....one of his friends. His friend then announced it loudly to the class. Girl's reaction, shocked face. Damien's reaction, *major blush* pissed at said friend. 1st grade is still in the not scary to me zone.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Cranky pants

Today sucks so far. I guess that's not saying much considering it's only 9am, but I just feel like whining. I got to start the day off with a big fight at home, but none of it was my fault. Whatever, you don't know. This is my version, I can tell it however I want. Big fight....all his fault....and ....and....my camera is broken.
I bought a nice new camera in May, and the next month while on vacation, it was stolen. I was distraught, and spent money I didn't have (remember I just got back from vacation) to replace it, and now the stupid thing won't turn on! I could cry. I can't not have a camera.
Who's gonna take Thanksgiving pictures and chopping down the Christmas tree pictures, and setting up the Christmas tree pictures, and here we are all dressed up for the Nutcracker pictures, and oh god, Christmas morning! and all the other 20 billion pictures a month I take of the little punks that live in my house.

I'll be back when I'm done wallowing in self pity.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Patrick and I were having a conversation about books last night and he estimated he's read about 75 books in his life (in his adult life?) I'm not exactly sure which he meant. Anyways, there is no possible way I could figure out how many books I've read. I am never without a book to read (at least not for very long). I'm a reader, always have been, love it, get lost in it, would be lost without it, kind of dork-ity bookworm. I even used to sit under a tree and read a book at lunch in high school. Only sometimes. Ok, forget I told you that. Please.
I have a few favorite authors, I know you don't care who they are, so I won't even mention them, but I was perusing the shelves at Safeway to see if these authors had released anything new. No luck, but I did need a book to read, so I scoped the bestsellers, and #3 was "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer. I had heard a few reviews from friends and saw a couple obsessive secrets on Postsecret.com, so I thought what the hell.
I read it in one day. It was surprisingly good. Sort of an "interview with the vampire" for the next generation. I went after the second book in the 4 book series and was a little embarrassed to find it in the "teen fiction" section. But I've been known to read Emily's books on occasion when really bored, so whatever. Finished the second book this weekend, and once again, really well written. Easy read, and very emotionally suspenseful, with a fair amount of action.
So there, you have my recommendation for whatever that's worth to you. I'm going out to get the 3rd book, and Patrick and I are going to see the movie of Twilight next week on my birthday. I hope the movie is well done. I really really hate when a good book is ruined by a very crappy movie. The previews look pretty promising. I'll let you know my opinion. I know you'll all be hanging on the edge of your seats waiting.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The neverending quest

Every Friday night the kids and I get a pizza and we sit at home and watch a movie. This week I decided to get The Neverending Story. Great movie, and my kids have never seen it. So I added it to my Netflix queue, bumped it to the top (so I thought) and even remembered to mail a movie back on Wednesday so we would get it in time. Well, yesterday I got my email telling me my movie was sent out, but OMG, it's not the right movie! Panicking I rushed to check my queue and damn it, I bumped it to #11!! Not #1! #11! How could I be so stupid. What will we do now?? How will we survive a blunder of this magnitude.

UHHH, watch a different movie? Right I know that's what you're thinking. I am just too stubborn for that. Once I get a plan into my head I HAVE to make it happen. I'm no quitter. At lunch I dug through the bargain bin at Walmart for a good 20 minutes, and then found the spot on the shelves where it WAS, but they were all gone. Hop in the car, zip over to Target. Wasn't there either, but I did find some cute shirts for Damien for Christmas.
So now here I sit, in panic mode. But, I have not yet tapped all my resources. I will find that movie by tonight!
If Atreyu can save Fantasia from the nothing, then surely I can find a single movie. Best Buy and Blockbuster here I come.

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday Trivia

Some things you may or may not know about me

1. I love pretzels and eat them every day

2. My initials are BMW

3. All of my kids were born late, but their birth weights ranged from 6lbs15oz to 11lbs1oz

4. I was the lead in a play in 8th grade.

5. I've worked for the same company for 8 years

6. 8 is my favorite number (like the 8 theme I have going on here?)

7. I was a teen mom

8. I drive a craptastic Ford Focus

9. I lived in a treehouse in Alaska when I was a toddler

10. Other than that, I have lived in California for my entire life

11. I have a cousin who was named after me, same first, middle and last name

12. I'm a 4th generation redhead on my mom's side. Me, My mom, Grandma, and great grandma all had red hair.

13. My daughters are blonde and brunette.

14. Other than when I was far too young to remember, I never played in snow, rode an airplane, left California, rode a horse, or liked chinese food until I was an adult.

15. I love rollercoasters.

Tell me about you.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mean muggin

I'm tellin you, don't mess with this chick. Don't let the cross in her pocket fool you. She will beat you down.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Pretend for just a moment that you're a 6 year old boy. Got it? Can you feel the energy flowing through you, flowing allllll through you?? Good, then you've got it. You're sitting at the dining room table, probably waiting for someone else to get you some food because all this energy is not to be used for mundane tasks like pouring cereal. Ah, what is this? A pencil. A pencil just sitting here on the table. You must do something with it, what can you do? Hmm....you tap it on the table a few times...oh, you got a good one. You can lay it on the table with half of it sticking off the edge. Then, you gather your strength, harnass your energy and karate chop it so it flings all the way to the kitchen. YES! That was awesome! You rock! You are the awesomest 6 year old boy in the world!! Repeat, repeat....repeat repeat repeat!! Alright, you're getting a little tired of chasing after the pencil. After all you haven't had breakfast yet....where is everybody? You're still holding the pencil in your hand and in front of you is the largest piece of paper you've ever seen!! Ok, it's really just the table, but whatever, close enough. You start drawing, doodle doodle doo, this is fun, but you're getting hungry now. You go see if anyone is coming yet....nope, back to the table. Crap! There's drawing all over the table! You're pretty sure that's against the rules. Your parents voices echo back from your memory...
"where do we draw? We draw on paper!! Not on walls! Not on furniture! Only on paper!!"
What to do now? It's there, it's done. You do not want to stand in the corner. Think think think.... Aha!! Inspiration strikes!! You have a plan. It is such a great, devious, foolproof plan. After this, no one will ever suspect it was you!


Later from the corner, you make a mental note to find out just exactly how to spell Emily.

Monday, November 10, 2008


Remember a couple weeks ago my rant about wanting a new car, a second car, a better car?? Well, I'll take that now. My battery completely bit the big one last night, right in the middle of an intersection. Bit it so hard that it won't even hold a charge if we jump it anymore. Thankfully Patrick was with me and I got to steer and he got to push. #263 on the list of reasons to keep a husband around.
In my defense, I only ignored my battery light being on for one year. I should get more warning than that. Procrastinators anonymous, where are you? I'm ready. Ok, that's a lie, I'm not ready. But keep checking back. I'll do it later....

Anyways, my awesome mom bought me a new battery and my awesome husband is fixing the car, so I really don't have to do anything.


On Saturday, Damien was sitting next to me watching a movie and said his armpit hurt a little bit. So I checked it out and the skin was a little....raw? I said as much and he was like "oh man, I bet that's from my potion." He made himself a little soap potion and rubbed it in his armpits in an attempt to grow hair. Hehehehe! Poor boy can't wait for puberty. I guess this is akin to girls trying to grow boobs. Sometimes this parenting thing is fuuuuunnnyyyy!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

It's Friday, oh yeah, shake your booty!!

Yeah, I'm in a good mood. It is Friday baby! Which means I can stay up as late as I want tonight and won't be sitting at this computer bitching tomorrow morning. It also means pizza night, drippy, greasy, CHEESY pizza...........uhhhhhh, slobber.

When I wrote that post yesterday, I forgot one more child truth that is oh so depressingly true. Sex. It is much much harder to find the time (and the privacy) when you have children. First off, you are so damn tired once all the kids are actually sleeping, that you're all about it, but only if the other person is doing all the work. This doesn't work out too often.
The other thing is the kids are everywhere, in your space, in your face, up your butt and wrapped around your legs. It is so hard to get a minute alone.

This morning all children were eating breakfast and the husband and I caught each other's eye, and he headed upstairs. I quickly followed, stifling my schoolgirl giggle, so as not to alert the children's radars that we were leaving the room for five damn minutes.

2 minutes later there is some pissed off toddler knocking on our bedroom door. We made her wait another minute, and then unlocked the door. She stormed in with a scowl, shouting "MY TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW!", turned on our tv, and planted herself on the floor.
Oh well, 3 minutes, that's what you get when you're a parent.

All you non parents, forget the "screw you" from yesterday. Instead, screw each other, hurry while you still have a chance.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The stuff life is made of

You know how there are tons of "child truths" out there, that people just love to perpetuate.
For example:
1. toddlers throw tantrums
2. little boys like to play with bugs
3. children will embarass you
4. children will interrupt your sleep
5. girls are picky about what their appearance
6. with kids you have a ton more housework
7. laundry, ah, the laundry
8. in keeping up with everyone's agendas and stuff, because no one ever knows where anything is, except you, you will lose your mind
9. you end up eating fast food or mac and cheese 3 nights out of 5
10. a trip to the grocery store is reason enough for prozac

All of these cliche's play an important role in our society. Everyone relies on them. If they're not parents, they use them to reinforce to themselves how crazy parenthood is and why they're smart, oh so smart to not have gone there, at least not yet. And if they are parents, they use them to reinforce to themselves how crazy parenthood is, and that it's all natural crazy kid stuff and they're not totally screwing up.
Sometimes things become cliche's because, you know what, they're true!!

1. Just this morning, I fought with Caliana about getting dressed, eating breakfast, whether or not she could watch both Ice Age downstairs and Dora upstairs, who exactly was going to put her in her carseat, and major tantrum when I left her at grandma's so I could escape to work.

2.Last night Damien said he had to get something from the car. I gave him the keys and he came back in with a ziplock baggie full of grass, sticks and bugs. What, they're his pets. We transfered them to a jar, he fed them grass, and walked around the house this morning with one crawling all over his hand, until I banished it back to the jar. ick.

3.Cali was in the bathroom with me this morning while I was doing my hair and I um....how to put this delicately, ripped one. She grinned and said "mama, you fawted"
"Yes I did, excuse me". But she just wouldn't let it go. "You fawted! You fawted! YOU FAWTED!" Oh lord help me if this should ever happen in public.

4.Yeah, see previous posts about toddlers jumping on stomachs, etc... this morning while snuggled up in my cozy bed, I was clocked in the face with one buzz lightyear.

5.Caliana fought with me over her outfit, and her shoes, and Emily had me redo her hair because that wasn't just how she wanted it *insert eye roll*

6.If any of you were to come knocking on my door you'd be talking to me on the front porch because my house is not even close to presentable. I don't clean much on weekdays, it's pretty pointless. Everything has a proper place, the kids just don't like to put them there.

7.I have laundry in the washer, in the dryer, in the laundry room, in my closet, in Emily's room, on Damien's floor, on the bathroom floor, clean and folded laundry still in a laundry basket in my room, and every day it grows and grows.

8.Do I even have to explain this one? You guys read this thing. I'm certifiably Insane. But I could still find your clean sock in the menagerie of laundry. So I guess I have some use left.

9.So far this week for dinner the kids have had Mcdonald's, pancakes, fajitas, tonight will be eggs and tomorrow is pizza night.

10.The 2 year old refuses to sit in the cart, and no matter how tightly I adjust that damn buckle she can stand up out of it, so she spends the trip running up and down the aisles, or fighting Damien over who gets to lay on the bottom rack of the cart. The older ones ask for every single little thing like they are starving and never ever get any treats ever. We invariably get in someone's way, and when I finally get us all at the checkout stand, and all the food finally on the counter and I still manage to actually have all 3 children, the checkout person always always smiles and says "how are you doing tonight?" I typically feel like tossing the toddler at them.

Take heart other parents, you are not alone. It's all them, the crazy crazy small ones. They do this to us on purpose. Eventually we will be free. In a long long long time, we will get our sanity back.

And all of you non parents, screw you.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

And the country marches on

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new president. This is probably one of the only political blogs you will ever read from me, because I really just don't usually go there. I'm a middle child and don't like to take sides. In fact, I was torn and didn't even vote in this election. I know.....I said I know.
Both Emily and Damien voted in a mock election at school. Admittedly, neither knew much about either candidate. Emily said she voted for McCain just because and Damien said he voted for the "O" one.
Emily and I got a chance to talk a bit more about it on the way to my class last night. She told me that this was an historic election because "either way, it'll be something that never happened before, either we'll have an african american president or a female vice president". I agree, definitely a landmark election.
Here in California we also had a very controversial bill to vote on, Prop 8. There were sign wavers everywhere. Emily said she didn't know what it was, but some kids came up to her in school and told her not to worry about what it's about, just vote Yes.
I explained that it was a bill to make it illegal for men to marry other men or women to marry other women, and that right now that's only legal in 2 out of the 50 states. She said that she didn't really understand why they would want to, but that we shouldn't make it illegal if that's what they choose. THEN she went on to tell me that not very long ago, people weren't allowed to be married if they had different colored skin, and that that made a lot of people upset, but now they can. Children are very wise.

Last count, I believe Prop 8 passed. I guess our society isn't ready yet.
I got home from dance just in time to watch Obama's speech. It made me cry and gave me hope. If our country can feel hope, we can move forward and we need to move forward.
God Bless America.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Much love

On Friday I got an email from my awesome Brother in Law. HI! Billy...I mean Bill, he likes to be called Bill now that we're all grown ups. I have kind of a hard time with that. Sorry Billy....I mean, uh, whatever, just deal with it.
Anyways, he was writing to tell me that he reads this blog and really likes it, and that I'm totally awesome and if I wasn't already married to his baby brother that he'd propose in a second. Ok, I totally made that last part up, but it could be true, I AM totally awesome ya know.
I just realized that I've said "awesome" a few too many times for one paragraph. I'll work on that.
On top of being ....you know...that "A" word, I am also freezing and hungry. I really really want an egg and sausage McMuffin. Weight Watchers says no no no, but it's been SO long, I think I just need to do it. I'm impulsive like that. I'm a risk taker. I'm going to eat all that sausage-y cheesy goodness and not even care, cause I have dance tonight, so that's like exercise and stuff.

Oh, and thanks everyone for all the comments recently. I guess my big baby tantrum worked. Love you guys.
Happy election day.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Okie dokie

And now we're back, recovered from Halloween, recovered from the weekend and all ready to settle in and just have a nice day at work, except crap, I have Damien's parent-teacher conference today. Please keep all fingers, toes and other appendages crossed. He's very smart and not a bad kid, but his behavior is not always conducive to the requirements of a learning environment. Hey, just trying to prep myself for the teacher-speak.
I lost my glasses this morning. I wear them for reading so having them for work is a must unless I want a monster headache by 5pm. I had already sent the older kids out to the car, but I NEEDED my glasses so I spent the next 15 minutes searching the house. I asked Caliana if she knew where they were and she led me to the downstairs closet. Nope, no go. Thanks anyways tot, go back to your cartoons. I eventually gave up and went out to the car. I moaned to the kids "you guys, I'm totally bummed, I lost my glasses". "Oh, I have them mom, here ya go, I bent them a little, they were in my pocket." I was too relieved to be too mad, but Damien can now tell you exactly how much my glasses cost. See what I mean about the behavior thing-y.

And now for your viewing pleasure, Halloween.