But I'm so good at it

I'm jealous of women who know they're done having kids. They know what they want, and they are confident and sure. "Abslolutely, we are DONE! Got my tubes tied after number 2" Blah blah blah. I have not felt this certainty in my own life. I keep expecting it to happen.

1 kid.....no way am I done

2 kids.....no not quite.

3 kids.....uhhhhh, 3 is a good amount, but.....but......I just....I'm not feeling that done-ness.

I probably shouldn't even write about this because my husband will read it, and I will go home and get a lecture. Plus all the well meaning questions from friends. "Are you guys really thinking of having another one?"

NOT that I don't get the questions already.

"You guys are DONE now right?"
"You're not having any more are you?"
"Wow, you're like a little baby factory, aren't you?"

Yes, that's me, baby factory. You nailed it. Insert ingredients here....wait 9 months.....your product will be delivered from the same door. Or 9 months and then some because my factory runs a little behind schedule.

My mom had 4, my grandma had 5, and just look at the Gosselins and the Duggars! See I'm not that crazy. But, I can't help but think of my mom. She was baby number 5 in her family. If my grandparents hadn't said "screw it, let's have another" she wouldn't be here. Neither would I. Or *sob* my children. And that just makes the decision to be done seem so huge. Who might I be depriving the world of?

People tell me I'm still young, and I don't have to decide soon, but I'm already here and doing it. 10 years of parenting under my belt thus far. How long till starting over is just too daunting. This factory can't stay open forever....