Patrick worked late last night. I got all kids in bed just before 9, grabbed myself a vodka and orange juice (ok, it was sunny delight, but close enough) and headed up to bed to veg.
I love me some 80's teen movies and I had just received "Heathers" from Netflix (Shannon Doherty, Winona Ryder and Christian Slater anyone?).
A third of my drink and a half hour later and I was dozing, only to be rudely awakened by my "screwdriver delight" pooling in my lap and slowly soaking through my blankets, making it's way down to freeze my warm cozy hiney.
Patrick got home just as I whipped off my soaked pants. Perfect timing babe. I finished what was left of my drink as he changed the bedding and tucked me back in. This is why I married this man.
I stopped at Chevron to get coffee this morning. I know it's not Starbucks, but I don't need $5 coffee, chevron can caffeine me up just fine. Anyways, right as I walk in this guy stops in his tracks and just stares at me. What, do I have a booger stuck to my cheek? If I do, it's probably not mine. I walked around him to get to the coffee and he turns around and keeps staring.
Weird guy: Do I know you?
Me: Oh boy here we go "I don't think so"
WG: You look really familiar, what's your name?
Me: Not buying it dude "Brandi"
WG: Still pretending to try and place me "Hmmmm, can't quite figure it out, how old are you?"
Me: *eye roll* "27"
WG: Oh well, I'm an old guy, I'm 34.
Me: You'd think by 34 you'd learn to look for a wedding ring (no comment)
WG: Not giving up "where are you going Brandi?"
Me: Just let it go man "work"
WG: "Where do you work, make this easier" (Seriously he said that!)
Me: No answer, raised eyebrows at the cashier
WG: (As I'm paying for my coffee) "Hey could you give the cashier an extra dollar, I owe her a dollar
Me: Are you fucking kidding me dude? "Uh, no."
He finally leaves the store and as I'm leaving he yells "Hey Brandi, come here"
(What, you thought the whole dollar thing would interest me in being your sugar mama? Not a chance buddy) "I gotta go"
I was afraid he was going to follow me to work. Psycho.
5 hours ago